so back to the day to day life in Gillingham...and ive come to the conclusion that I love the work I do here and I love the kids I work with..and I love the team at GYFC..Its just the fact that im away from home and my family and friends that I dont love..and that sometimes makes me question my work here...But no more questioning coz i know its not the youthwork that i dont like..Its just the distance between new zealand and england..
If somehow we could close the gap between the two countries it would be perfect..! Or some kind of 'new zealand post' advert scenario where the letter gets sent and the person gets sent with it..lol hmm maybe a little unrealistic..false advertising?! lol
Sunday we had a youth service at St.Marks church..which was really cool coz the youth basically get together and plan it..It was on being a church outside of the church..as in like helping people out in the community..which i love the idea of..So me and Phil had to answer a few questions and do a little bit for that which was cool...except i still havent gotten over my intense fear of public speaking lol i like shake and i can tell my voice is going all quivery..and i seriously considered all the exits and thought about leaving the building before they called us up so i wouldnt have to stand up and talk in front of all those people..lol ah well...i put it down as one of my areas i want to grow in this year..which means more opportunities to speak in front of crowds..lol great. But i totally know i'll be better of for it and I do really want to become more confident in it..before you know it ill be volunteering to speak in front of crowds of thousands..lol hardly.
Yesterday we had morning team meeting...which ended up with me in tears..lol we had to make these fish out of paper and put them in this aquariam that had been drawn on a whiteboard and explain where we thought we were in the team at the moment..and i had no idea..because i kinda feel like im meant to be here but at the same time torn between new zealand and here radaradarada...and then Malcolm, our gyfc director, was like 'oh are you really finding it tough being away from home...coz you wouldnt know from the way you are round the office..' and then i just cracked..and cried and said it was difficult..lol so i ended up blubbing while they prayed for me..But it was so nice cz it kinda felt like a supporting family you know..lol but i do usually try not to cry in front of people..lol ah well...so many surprises..haha
But in the afternoon it was so good coz instead of doing community time me, dave and Helen just went to the park (which apparently you dont go to at night coz ben had his head kicked in like the week of beginning to volunteer at gyfc..gangs hang out there and stuff..thats gillingham for you..) and had quiet time with God...it was so nice and relaxing..
And went to the gym last night...pumped some iron..lol too funny though coz its a guys and girls gym..so the guys are doing all the weights and then checking themselves out in the mirrors...lol its so cringe worthy to watch..lol
Tomorrow Claire, our line manager and possibly the most lovely person in the world, is coming down to have a visit with me and phil..yay